Technicolor Girls
by sayanythinglover
Summary: A collection of oneshots weaved together with songs purely based on feeling. AU. Spashley. Reviews are much appreciated.
1. Portions For Foxes

**Title**: Technicolor Girls

**Author**: sayanythinglover

**Rating**: T for language and sexual content

**Pairing**: Spashley

**Disclaimer**: I do not own South of Nowhere or anything affiliated with it, I'm just a rabid fan

**Summary**: A collection of oneshots weaved together with songs purely based on feeling

**Author's Note**: I am well aware that I have other stories that I have put on the backburner. But this idea won't go away and it's exactly what I want to write right now.

**Feedback**: It's what I truly live for, because I don't just write for myself. Any sort of feedback would be much appreciated, regardless if it's good or bad.

--

**Title**: Portions for Foxes

**Artist**: Rilo Kiley

_There's blood in my mouth cause I've been biting my tongue all week._

The music pulsated in her ears. Teenagers were all over the place, on the stairs, dancing on the tables, passed out on beds. Ashley realized how much she hated the high school party scene. All these people came together for two reasons: alcohol and sex. She couldn't really blame them though, because she was here for the same thing.

_I keep on talking trash but I never say anything._

She saw her as soon as she walked in. They had all come together in a group, the cheerleaders in all their glory. Led of course by Madison but following close behind was Spencer. Her doe eyes scanned the crowd as if she was truly looking for something, but wouldn't be able to find it.

_And the talking leads to touching and the touching leads to sex and then there is no mystery left._

Ashley leaned against the wall, utterly invisible to everybody around her. That's the way she liked it. She watched her closely and didn't make any attempt to hide it. Some guy was talking to Spencer, but she didn't show any interest in his words much less himself. She held herself with such confidence and that's why Ashley was so infatuated with her.

_And it's bad news, baby, I'm bad news. I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news._

Spencer made a move to go upstairs. This was her chance, her opportunity. Ashley quickly left her spot and followed. People stood on each step, becoming a roadblock and distraction for Ashley. She heard the bathroom door shut and knew where Spencer was.

_I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you._

She knocked on the door with authority. "What?" Ashley paused for a moment, she hadn't thought of anything to say. "It's an emergency." Lame excuse was the proper term to describe what came out of her mouth but it worked. The door opened.

_But just being around you offers me another form of relief._

She saw Spencer standing there by the window, cigarette in her hand. She gave her a cold glance and then inhaled. Ashley felt like a deer in headlights, wondering what to do next. She shut the door behind her and leaned her back on it. Spencer opened her mouth to speak. "Well..." Ashley stood silent, not saying a word. "You said it was an emergency." Spencer took another inhale of the cigarette before throwing it out the window.

_When the loneliness leads to bad dreams and the bad dreams lead me to calling you and I call you and say "come here!"_

"It was an emergency, do you have another cigarette?" Spencer scoffed at the remark before taking a cigarette from the pack that lay on the sink. She handed the cigarette to Ashley along with a lighter that she hid in her hand. "Thanks." Spencer just stared at her, almost like she was judging her.

_And it's bad news, baby, I'm bad news. I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news._

Ashley looked around the bathroom, noticing the smallest details like each crack in the tiles on the floor. She walked over to the window, where Spencer was still standing there. Her cigarette smoke was floating out into the sky. And she was mere inches from everything she wanted.

_And it's bad news, baby, it's bad news. It's just bad news, bad news, bad news._

"Enjoying the party?" The question caught Ashley off guard. "I hate parties." Simple answer to a simple question. Spencer had a smirk on her face, like she felt the same way. She looked down at her feet, brushing her blonde hair away from her eyes. Ashley felt an awkward silence starting to form. "I'm Ashley." Spencer turned her attention to her. "I know who you are."

_Cause you're just damage control for a walking corpse like me, like you._

Ashley threw her cigarette out the window, hoping it would land on one of those pricks outside. She let her back rest on the wall, feeling the cool tile through her shirt. Spencer kept looking at her, watching her. "How do you like it?" Ashley became confused, wearing a puzzled look on her face. "Like what?" Spencer didn't hesitate. "Staring. Because you've been doing it to me all this time."

_Cause we'll all be portions for foxes. Yeah we'll all be portions for foxes._

Ashley froze, her whole body became paralyzed. She couldn't give her a legitimate answer without sounding crazy. Thankfully, she didn't wait for one. "Don't worry, I find it cute." Spencer moved ever so slightly closer to her. Both backs were on the wall, not facing each other.

_There's a pretty young thing in front of you and she's real pretty._

Ashley's mind and heart were racing with each passing second. She might not have another moment like this. She turned to finally face Spencer and put her hands on the sides of her face. She pulled her towards her and before either of them knew it, their lips had collided with such force that it hurt.

_And she's real into you and then she's sleeping inside of you._

Spencer became horizontal on the floor as Ashley laid on top of her. Her hands traveled over the blonde's skin, soft and warm. Spencer put her hands through Ashley's hair, brushing away any doubt she may have had. Ashley's lips were screaming passion inside Spencer's mouth.

_And the talking leads to touching and the touching leads to sex and then there is no mystery left._

Making out on the bathroom floor wasn't exactly the first interaction that Ashley thought she would have with Spencer. But she was not complaining. Her mouth tasted like cigarettes and alcohol, tainted with chemicals. The blonde cheerleader was full of corruption and Ashley loved it.

_And it's bad news, I don't blame you. I do the same thing, I get lonely too._

The door opened with a violent burst. Ashley and Spencer were still in a compromising position. There was a shriek heard next. "Spencer, what the hell are you doing?" Madison was standing there with her jaw wide open. They both quickly got off each other and stood up, forming an uneven triangle.

_And you're bad news, my friends tell me to leave you. That you're bad news, bad news, bad news._

"Shut it, Madison." Spencer said as she gathered her pack of cigarettes and lighter in her hand. Ashley stood in the corner, watching the two girls fight for control. "You're lucky it was me who came up here and not someone else." Madison said as she stood like she belonged there.

_You're bad news, baby you're bad news and you're bad news, baby you're bad news._

"Whatever." Madison walked out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Spencer was just standing there, looking proud of herself. "You should have done that a long time ago." Ashley's face broke out into a smile that engulfed her entire face. "Yeah, I guess so."

_And you're bad news, I don't care I like you and you're bad news, I don't care I like you._

Spencer started to walk towards the door but stopped before she got there. "I'll be seeing you around, Ashley. And it's Spencer." Ashley looked into her eyes, almost getting lost in them. "I know who you are." Spencer flashed a smile before walking out.

_I like you._


	2. Your ExLover Is Dead

**Title**: Your Ex-Lover is Dead

**Artist**: Stars

_When there is nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire._

The club had been filled to capacity. It had been impossible to move, much less dance with anybody. Ashley went outside so she could breathe. She lit a cigarette while leaning on the concrete wall and watched the people walking by, wondering where they were going and who they were suppose to see. She had come alone and it would seem that she would go home that way.

_God that was strange to see you again introduced by a friend of a friend._

Fate appeared to intervene that night, because there she was. It had been three years since she had last seen her, but there was no mistaking your first love. Ashley saw her walk by and quickly found words to say. "Spencer?" The blonde stopped in her tracks and turned around. The flicker of recognition emerged in her eyes and she smiled. "Ashley."

_Smiled and said "yes I think we've met before" in that instant it started to pour._

The rain came down in a matter of seconds. People ran under whatever they could for shelter, like they had never experienced it before. A few words were exchanged and they had both ended up in the same taxi. The destination was to Spencer's place, which Ashley found out was only a couple blocks away. The space between them in the backseat would have led you to believe they were strangers, not too far from the truth.

_Captured a taxi despite all the rain, we drove in silence across Pont Champlain._

Traffic was evident in the streets. The drive took longer than normal and the violent rain was not helping. Both girls stole glances of each other in the car, not believing that the other was actually in front of their eyes. The taxi stopped in front of an apartment building and Spencer proceeded to pay the man. "Home sweet home." Ashley let out a laugh before making a mad dash inside, Spencer following close behind.

_And all of that time you thought I was sad I was trying to remember your name._

When Spencer opened the door, the apartment was somehow exactly how Ashley expected it to be. Clean, organized, and with a touch of femininity. She looked around and saw some pictures of the family. There were books piled on the kitchen table, scattered around every inch. Ashley pointed to the mess. "Still like to read, Spencer?" Spencer looked over and looked embarrassed for a moment. "I haven't had a chance to clean up. Finals started this week."

_This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin. You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in._

Ashley sat down on the couch and Spencer took the chair. There was the generic catching up questions asked by both of them. Ashley was still trying to get that record deal based on her talent, not her name. Spencer was majoring in pre-med at USC, making her mother proud. There were no significant others for the time being. Eventually, the conversation died out and Spencer was looking around her apartment trying to think of something else to say. Ashley stared at her, amazed that three years hadn't changed anything. "You look good, Spence."

_And now you're outside me you see all the beauty. Repent all your sin._

Alcohol became a part of the night because both secretly decided that this would be easier if they weren't sober. Stories came out of nowhere and laughter filled the room. It seemed just like old times again. Then Ashley reached the point where she was drunk enough to say exactly what she wanted. "Do you ever miss me?" Spencer paused for an instant, trying to find the right answer. "Sometimes."

_It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose. I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose._

They ended up sitting right next to each other. The space between them was much less than it had been in the backseat of the taxi. Spencer was staring out of the window, looking pensive and lost in her own thoughts. "I miss you more than I'd like to admit." Ashley nodded, knowing what Spencer meant. "What happened to us, Spencer?" Spencer turned to look at her, showing her sad eyes for the first time. "We stopped working."

_I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news. From the house down the road, from real love._

The rain stopped tapping against the window, making the silence more noticeable than ever. Ashley couldn't take it anymore. Honesty began pouring out of her mouth. "Three years didn't change anything. I'm still in love with you." Spencer closed her eyes, like she was bracing for something. "Don't do this, Ash." Ashley stood up from the couch, pacing around like she always did when she was mad. "Don't do what? Tell you how I feel? Well, I can't do that. I'm not you, Spencer."

_Live through this and you won't look back. Live through this and you won't look back._

Ashley stood still on the floor, waiting for Spencer to say something...anything. She did not have to wait for long. "That's not fair. Just because I don't say drunken proclamations of love doesn't mean I can't tell you how I feel." A tear slid down Spencer's cheek, falling so slow and making Ashley feel horrible. "Tell me because I am right here. I've always been right fucking here." Spencer took a deep breath.

_Live through this and you won't look back. There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave._

"Ashley, you were everything to me at one point. But it's not like that anymore. I spent so much time trying to get over you. I moved on." Ashley looked at the floor, letting out a sigh of defeat. "You know, it might be because I'm drunk or that I have an altered perception of reality but I don't believe you." Ashley walked over to where Spencer was standing and whispered in her ear. "You don't always have to be so strong, Spencer. If you fall, I will catch you."

_You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave. I'm not sorry I met you._

Spencer pulled Ashley into her, becoming tangled with her on the couch. Spencer let her lips roam all over the body she had missed so much. One night could make up for three years. Ashley wasn't letting anything come between them, making sure every part of herself touched Spencer somehow. Memories of the past came flooding back, in the form of this physical reunion.

_I'm not sorry it's over. I'm not sorry there's nothing to save._

Ashley woke up before Spencer, who was lying right beside her. She made a move to get up and heard Spencer stir. "Are you leaving?" Ashley turned around and looked at her, her eyes marveling at the sight before her. "I'll never leave you, Spencer."

_I'm not sorry there's nothing to save._


	3. Such Great Heights

A/N: I'd appreciate some more feedback so I can figure out if this is worth keeping going. I really love writing it so I just want to know that people like reading it. A little encouragement or criticism goes a long way. Thank you.

**Title**: Such Great Heights

**Artist**: The Postal Service

_I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images_

The tour bus pulled away from the parking lot, leaving Spencer to wave goodbye all by herself. Ashley had told her that three months would go by fast. There wasn't much doubt that their relationship would survive, it had gone through much longer periods of time without seeing one another. But it always took its toll on Spencer when Ashley was away.

_and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned. _

She flipped through the channels on the television, searching for something that would keep her mind off of Ashley. She landed on MTV and saw her on TRL promoting her tour. She looked so happy in front of all those screaming fans, begging for a piece of her. Spencer felt a pang of jealousy go through her, realizing those people got to see her girlfriend more than she did.

_And I have to speculate that God Himself did make us_ _into corresponding shapes_

Trust had always been a major issue for them. Groupies flocked to them after the concert, Ashley being their main target. Of course, girls still found their ways into her hotel room and the tour bus since the guys in the band were all single. But Ashley gave Spencer some peace of mind by telling her that she had lost her once and wasn't going to lose her again for some one night stands.

_like puzzle pieces from the clay. _

Her cell phone rang. The ring tone playing was familiar and Spencer rushed to answer it. "Hello?" There was loud music playing in the background. "Tell me how much you miss me." Ashley knew how to get straight to the point of matters. "Like you wouldn't believe." Spencer's voice cracked at she told Ashley this. "I can't talk for long. We're doing sound check for the show tonight. I just wanted to hear your voice. I love you, Spencer." Spencer smiled at the last few words. "Bye."

_And true it may seem like a stretch but it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away_

Kyla helped eased the pain of missing Ashley by coming over. She always had plans for them, to keep them busy and occupied but they didn't always work. "We can go see a movie or something." Kyla offered. "I don't really feel like going out tonight, Kyla." Spencer said as she sighed out loud. "I know you miss her but moping around here isn't going to make it any easier." Kyla shared the same bluntness that her half sister had. "It's just hard, you know?" Spencer whispered as tears started to form in her eyes. "Yeah, I know."

_and when I am missing you to death._

Ashley kept her mind on two things when she was on tour: her music and Spencer. They both seemed to go hand in hand since one was always affected by the other one and vise versa. It was the same thing every night but in a different place. The glamour of the rock star lifestyle was slowly fading away for Ashley Davies. She realized why she never saw her father while he was with his band. She didn't want to be that person, more of a ghost than an actual human being. Spencer deserved more than that.

_And when you are out there on the road for several weeks of shows_

The record label didn't want Ashley to acknowledge the fact that she was gay or that she had a girlfriend waiting at home. They thought she would lose some fans and the public wouldn't like that. But the media always speculated about her lyrics and lack of a male love interest. She always deflected questions away about her personal life, declaring that she was 'all about the music.'

_and when you scan the radio I hope this song will guide you home. _

The bed seemed so empty without Ashley in it. Spencer would try to bunch up pillows in the form of a person, but it wasn't the same. Ashley couldn't be replaced, not even close. The apartment was filled with pictures of the two of them. You could trace the time-line of their relationship based on those snapshots of random moments. But Spencer dreaded going past them, because each one was a reminder that this would be the closest she got to seeing Ashley.

_They will see us waving from such great heights "come down now" they'll say_

"Spencer, is something wrong?" Paula's voice snapped her back to reality. "What? No, I'm fine." Spencer said as she shoveled the home cooked food into her mouth. "Honey, you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm your mother for God's sake." Paula said in that demeaning tone she knew how to use so well. "Mom, really, I'm fine. Can you pass the mashed potatoes?" Spencer kept her eyes on her plate, wishing her mother wouldn't take such an interest in her life.

_but everything looks perfect from far away "come down now" but we'll stay. _

Spencer scrolled through her phonebook. The name she was looking for was at the top of the list: Ashley. She dialed the number and wasn't surprised when she didn't answer. The messages in her voicemail box were full, at least that's what the automated voice said. She threw the phone on the table and walked outside to the porch. She looked at the scenery and thought of how it was beautiful but it had a way of making a person feel lonely.

_I tried my best to leave this all on your machine but the persistent beat, it sounded thin upon the sending. _

Ashley was fed up with everything at this point. "The show is in L.A., Ethan. She's coming whether you say so or not." Ethan ran a hand through his head to show his frustration. "The label was precise in their instructions. You can't have your girlfriend coming to the shows and being at your side. The press will be all over that." He walked off the bus to take a phone call. Ashley sat on the couch, strumming her guitar. She knew nothing was going to stop Spencer from being there.

_And that frankly will not fly, you'll hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows with the windows down and this is guiding you home. _

"Hey baby." Spencer was never so glad to hear Ashley on the other line. "How's the tour? Has it reached epic proportions yet?" Ashley let out a laugh at the sarcasm she so dearly missed. "It's going good. And I have some great news. We're doing our next show is in L.A. and if you want to, you can come and see me play." Spencer shrieked upon hearing this. "Oh my god, are you kidding me? Of course I'll be there." Ashley couldn't contain her excitement either, since it had been two months since they had seen each other. "I'll call you later with the details."

_They will see us waving from such great heights "come down now" they'll say_

Kyla came over to help Spencer get ready for the show. "Son of a bitch, Kyla. You're burning my hair." Kyla quickly waved the flat iron away from Spencer's blonde tresses. "Sorry. We're kinda in a rush though." Kyla glanced over to the clock. Traffic would be absolute hell if they didn't leave before rush hour considering it was L.A. "Yeah, you're right. Let's go." Spencer picked up her keys and Kyla followed behind her, shutting the door.

_but everything looks perfect from far away "come down now" but we'll stay._

The arena was already packed with people, creating a buzzing noise in Spencer's ears. After multiple texts to Ashley, the security guard finally let them back stage. They were led to the dressing room, where the whole band was playing hacky sack. Someone pointed out Spencer and Kyla standing by the door and Ashley turned around. Ashley ran over to where they were and kissed Spencer while holding her in her arms. "I missed you so much." Ashley whispered into Spencer's ear so only she would hear.

_They will see us waving from such great heights "come down now" they'll say_

Ashley started off the show while Spencer and Kyla watched from backstage. She saw how Ashley looked so euphoric and happy when she was on that stage, and she didn't want to take that away from her. The crowd was singing along with every line. Ashley stopped the show for a moment, and started talking to the mass of people there for her. But she turned to where Spencer and Kyla were standing and pointed to them. "Spencer, will you come here for a second?"

_but everything looks perfect from far away "come down now" but we'll stay. _

Spencer stood there paralyzed, not quite believing what Ashley had just said. Kyla saw this and did her part by pushing Spencer into the lime light. Ashley held out her hand for Spencer to take, which she did. She led her to the middle of the stage while fans were screaming. She finally turned her attention back to the throng of loud people. "So there's someone I'd like you guys to meet. This is Spencer."

_They will see us waving from such great heights "come down now" they'll say_

Spencer stood frozen on the stage like her feet could not move. She could feel her face turning red and became quite aware of how hard she was breathing. Ashley continued to talk into the microphone. "You know, honesty is a pretty big deal to me. I'm honest in my lyrics. I'm honest to my fans. And I need to be honest with her. So here it goes. I am in love with her." At the end of that remark, Ashley grabbed Spencer and kissed her. A full blown kiss. Flashbulbs lit up the arena and the crowd erupted into cheers. When they finally pulled away, Ashley whispered into Spencer's ear. "Next tour, you're coming."

_but everything looks perfect from far away "come down now" but we'll stay._


	4. By Tonight

**Title**: By Tonight

**Artist**: Say Anything

_You're looking quite shy sugar. You've got some heat on that stare. _

The road was empty except for the occasional car driving by, obviously lost. The truck stop was in the middle of nowhere and the few regular customers were what kept it afloat. Spencer watched the second hand on the clock tick by slowly. Her nametag was faded and placed right above her breast, over her heart. People came by and went, never staying for long.

_You've got them tattered blue jeans on and you're doing that thing with your hair. _

The car's tires screeched into the paved asphalt parking lot, ruining the calm silence that usually surrounded the place. She got out of the car with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth while squinting her eyes into the sun. She threw the cigarette out of her mouth and crushed it with her foot. Her brunette hair flew in the air as she walked into the place, the bell on the door announcing her arrival.

_And this bed could use a secret and these pounding hearts could keep it._

Spencer looked up from the spot she was washing on the countertop and saw her. She glanced around the deserted diner before deciding to sit at a stool. She looked like a mess, quite honestly. Her jeans had holes all over them and her fitted t-shirt seemed like it would come apart by a single strand. She tapped her fingers on the counter, making a hollow sound that echoed throughout. Spencer walked over with a pot of coffee in her hand and asked. "Coffee?" She nodded her head, not even looking at her.

_If you could then I could, I swear cause you've turned me on._

Her hands grasped the cup and she drank it like water, not quite realizing how hot it actually was. "Shit." The first words that she had spoken. The cup rattled as she set it down on the formica counter that was older than her. Spencer watched her as she read the menu, not being able to tear her eyes away. She finally made her way over to the girl, with the pad in her hand ready to write her order. "What do you want?"

_I'd like to know if you were trying. Angel we are so gone._

The brown eyes met the blue ones staring back at her. "Some hash browns would be great. Thanks." Spencer jotted the order down and ripped it out, placing it on the rack in front of the kitchen. She started to walk away before a voice stopped her. "Uh...Spencer?" The girl pushed her cup in front of her, indicating it was empty. "How did you know my name?" Spencer looked at her, trying to remember every feature on her face. "It's on your nametag."

_And by tonight the earth bursts open. By tonight we'll shed this clothing._

She was devouring the hash browns in front of her, leading Spencer to believe she hadn't eaten in days. She barely fit in her jeans, hanging off of her like they were two sizes too big. Spencer noticed her cup was empty and went over to fill it. "That's your third cup today. Either you really like coffee or you're trying to stay awake." Her head lifted up from her plate and a smile appeared on her face. "Sleep is overrated."

_By tonight you'll see me in the angle that you've missed. Nothing exists but this. Nothing exists but this._

Spencer leaned on the counter, careful to leave space between her and the girl. "Do you have a name? Since you already know mine, I think it's only fair." She let out a laugh before letting her eyes rest on Spencer. "Ashley. My name is Ashley Davies." Spencer offered out her hand and Ashley took it into her own, shaking it gently. "Nice to meet you, Ashley Davies."

_You're looking high strung sugar. Why don't you sink a little bit? _

After that, the conversation seemed to come out of nowhere and fill the place with lively chatter. Both girls told their history, leaving out the important details. Spencer ran a hand through her hair, watching as Ashley got more comfortable. "So what are you doing here? This isn't normally a destination for most people." Ashley sat silent for a moment, analyzing the question. "I got in my car and kept driving for miles. And I ended up here."

_Into the sea of sweat our skin can spit. It was good to keep me guessing._

The counter was like a barrier between them, a line to make sure they didn't cross it. Spencer felt the sweat on the back of her neck starting to form thanks to the broken air conditioning. Ashley's eyes roamed her body, scanning her from up to down. "What's a pretty girl like you doing working in a place like this?" Spencer herself had pondered that question many times before. "I don't know."

_Cause you know I hate attention so can we get down to it? Get down to it. _

Most of the regular customers had left, leaving Spencer and Ashley relatively alone under the fluorescent lighting. Spencer found herself being pulled to Ashley, not being able to leave her side. "So you just decided to get in your car and drive to remote unfamiliar areas?" Ashley's eyes shifted to the counter. "I had just gotten dumped. So I haven't really been in the most logical mindset yet." Spencer felt sympathy for the girl in front of her.

_Cause you've turned me on. I'd like to know if you were trying. Angel we are so gone._

"I bet he's kicking himself now." Spencer said, trying to cheer her up. "_She_ is probably not. Kind of a bitch now that I think about it." Ashley kept her eyes focused on Spencer, watching for her reaction. Spencer turned her attention to the window outside, noticing that the sun was about to set. "Spencer, can you close tonight?" The other waitress asked from across the room. Spencer took a long look at Ashley before answering. "Yeah."

_And by tonight the earth bursts open. By tonight we'll shed this clothing._

Spencer continued to clean up and put everything away while she felt Ashley's eyes on her with every movement she made. She pretended not to be aware of it, but failed when she dropped the plates she was carrying and shattered them on the ground. "Son of a bitch." Spencer whispered to herself. Ashley got up from her seat and went behind to counter to help clean up. Spencer swept the broken pieces with a broom while Ashley held the dustpan. "Thank you."

_By tonight you'll see me in the angle that you've missed. Nothing exists but this. Nothing exists but this._

Ashley stayed behind the counter, leaning by the register. Spencer finished what needed to be done and walked over to where Ashley was. Like she was a magnet and they were both opposites being attracted to one another. Ashley's eyes would not leave the blonde's exterior. "You're a good listener, Spencer." Spencer stood still, not being able to move. Ashley did the moving and stood right in front of her. They were only inches away from each other.

_Turned me on. I'd like to know if you were trying. Angel we are so gone._

Spencer saw something behind the brown eyes so close to her and felt like she had to find out what it was. Ashley put her hands on both sides of Spencer's face and pulled her into her own body. Their lips found each other quite easily as warm hands traveled over their bodies. Spencer tasted the coffee and cigarettes in Ashley's mouth and realized how addicting it truly was. Ashley broke it off and whispered into Spencer's ear. "Run away with me."

_And by tonight the earth bursts open. By tonight we'll shed this clothing._

Spencer decided right there to leave everything behind because none of it mattered anymore. She opened the register with the key and stuffed all the money into her pockets. Ashley was waiting in the car and honked to show her impatience. Spencer ran out of the doors and got into the passenger seat. The nametag was next to the register, becoming the final remains of someone who would never come back. The car pulled out of the parking lot and sped ahead, the back of both girls' heads becoming smaller into the horizon.

_By tonight you'll see me in the angle that you've missed._


	5. Light Of Some Kind

**Title**: Light Of Some Kind

**Artist**: Ani Difranco

_I wish I didn't have this nervous laugh. I wish I didn't say half the stuff I say._

The clock displayed the late hour as the open window let in a warm breeze. Ashley was still wide awake, knowing that sleep wouldn't come easy for her tonight. A car pulled to the curb and teenage girls slammed the doors while carrying an unconscious blonde. Ashley got up and watched from her window the drama unfolding before her eyes. The blonde was left out cold on her stoop as the car drove away without hesitation. Ashley ran down the stairs and out through her front door. She picked up the drunk girl and carried her inside her house but not before whispering to herself. "Spencer, you never did know your limit."

_I wish I could just learn to cover my tracks. I guess I'm not concerned about getting away._

Ashley woke up feeling stiff since she had to sleep in a chair. She found an empty bed with the sheets and blankets thrown off it. Spencer must have been in a hurry to get out of there, she thought. She walked over to her window and saw that the Carlin family van was not parked in its usual spot on the driveway. It was Sunday morning, the day of the Sabbath. They had to be in church right now, with Spencer on her knees praying for forgiveness for getting wasted the night before. The image of this came to Ashley's mind and she could only laugh. If only they knew the real Spencer Carlin.

_Cause every time I try to hold my tongue, it slips like a fish from a line._

There was a fierce knock at the door and Ashley yelled while she walked down the stairs. "Hold on." She opened the door only to find Spencer Carlin standing there. It had been forever since she had come over to Ashley's house on her own will. She was still in her church clothes, a dress that only added to the imagination about what was under it. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she spoke first. "Can I come in?" Ashley moved aside to let her in and their bodies brushed past each other. Spencer kept walking upstairs to Ashley's room with the brunette not too far behind.

_They say if you want to play, you should learn how to play dumb. I guess I can't bring myself to waste your time._

Spencer stood by the door, expecting to make a quick exit. Ashley sat on her infamous chair as she waited for Spencer to start this conversation. "Thanks for last night." Ashley just nodded her head, not letting her eyes stray from Spencer. Spencer looked around the room at all the faded band posters and old pictures. "Your room hasn't changed at all." Ashley leaned back into her chair. "But you have." Spencer flashed a look of disbelief on her face. "Don't start, Ash." Ashley laughed with the sarcastic tone she had mastered. "You started it, Spence. I'm just finishing it."

_Cause we both know what I've been doing, I've been intentionally bad at lying._

Fighting was something that both girls had never done with each other. Their friendship had slowly deteriorated as soon as they started high school and they went their separate ways. This was the day that the past would come to resurface. Spencer's voice trembled with anger. "We grew apart, Ashley. I'm sorry that you're not over that." Ashley just shook her head. "Becoming a bitch and ditching me is not growing apart. Don't apologize." Spencer sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "This was a waste of time." Ashley watched as she walked out and slammed the door behind her.

_You're the only girl I ever let see through me and I hope you believe me when I say I'm trying._

The summer days became hotter and longer as they passed. Ashley kept a watchful eye on the Carlin house through her window. She was bordering on obsessive stalker but reasoned that she couldn't help the fact that they lived right next door. Spencer was going out every night with her friends and coming home plastered. Ashley wanted to go over to Spencer's house and explain herself but she knew she couldn't. She had to wait for Spencer to come to her. She would always be the one waiting for Spencer.

_And I hope I never improve my game, yeah I'd rather have these things weighing on my mind._

Ashley went to the grocery store to stock up on food, since her mother was barely ever there. She pushed the squeaky cart around each aisle before stopping abruptly. Spencer was picking out a brand of potato chips that Paula quickly put back, citing that they were too fattening. Spencer turned her head to see Ashley with her feet not on the ground but on the metal bar of the cart. Just like they had always done when they were kids, wreaking havoc for customers and staff alike. They caught each other's eyes and Ashley silently mouthed two words. "I'm sorry."

_And at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame, there must be a light of some kind. There must be a light of some kind._

The house was quiet as Ashley was finally falling asleep before knocking at the front door made her jump out of her bed. She rubbed her eyes while trying to decipher the numbers on her clock. 3:21 AM. The knocking persisted so she went downstairs and opened the door. Spencer was standing there, actually more like leaning with the wind since she was drunk. Ashley was surprised but also expecting this to happen. She looked at Spencer and let herself smile. "Do you want to come in?"

_I must have blown a fuse or something cause it was so dark in my mind._

Spencer collapsed on the bed while Ashley went over to sit in her chair. Spencer was the first one to talk. "I miss this room...and this bed." Ashley looked out the window, the streetlights giving off the only glow. "Well, it misses you too. So do I." Spencer propped herself up so she could see Ashley. "I never meant to hurt you, Ash. I'm so sorry." Ashley saw the moonlight strike Spencer's face from the window and realized how beautiful she was. "Don't worry, Spencer. All is forgiven."

_She came up to me with the sweetest face and she was holding a light of some kind._

The bed creaked as Spencer got up and sat on the windowsill, closer to Ashley. A night breeze blew through the room as Ashley stood up and walked over to where Spencer was. She let their foreheads touch and could feel Spencer breathe. Their bodies hadn't been this close in years, their hearts beating and palms sweating. Ashley let her mouth say what she felt. "I'm in love with you, Spencer." Ashley couldn't say anymore because Spencer was covering her mouth with her lips. Spencer's legs wrapped around Ashley's waist and Ashley brought both of them onto the bed.

_And I still think of you as my girlfriend. I don't think this is the end of the world._

Clothes started to come off as easily as their inhibitions. Ashley's hands kept traveling all over Spencer's body. Their mouths were firmly planted on one another, not letting anything come between them. Spencer could hear her heartbeat through her ears, racing from self control. They were naked in a matter of seconds and Ashley stopped for a moment. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Spencer responded the only way she knew how. She kissed her.

_But I think maybe you should follow my example and go meet yourself a really nice girl._

Ashley woke up to the sun filling her room with ultraviolet rays. She found herself alone and naked in her bed. Her clothes were strewn about the room and she picked them up. She got dressed and went over to the window, already missing Spencer's body there. She looked out and saw a moving van parked in the driveway. Ashley immediately dived into a state of panic. She looked all over her room, desperately trying to find an answer to all this.

_Cause we both know in the end, the world comes down to just a few people but for you it comes down to one._

The front door swung open as Ashley walked over to the Carlin house. She came across Glen loading boxes into the van. "Are you guys moving?" Glen laughed out loud before answering. "What tipped it off? The boxes? The van?" Ashley wasn't in the mood for playful banter. "Where?" Glen stocked the boxes on top of one another. "California. Mom got offered a job out there." Ashley felt like her world was falling apart. "Where's Spencer?" Glen started to walk back in the house. "She's in her room packing up her stuff." Ashley rushed past him and ran upstairs to Spencer's bedroom.

_But no one ever asked me if I thought I could be everything to someone._

She found Spencer sitting on her bed, looking at a picture. "So you thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" Spencer looked up to see Ashley standing in her doorway with tears in eyes. "I was going to tell you." Ashley wiped the tears away with her hand. "When? Before or after we did it?" Spencer got up and walked over to Ashley. "I just wanted us to have one night." The picture fell from Spencer's hand and Ashley picked it up. It was of the two of them, taken when they were younger. They looked so happy in it, so free and innocent.

_There's a crowd of people harbored in every person. There are so many roles that we play and you've decided to love me for eternity._

Ashley held the picture in her hand and looked at Spencer. She knew what she was going to do. "I won't lose you again. I'm coming with you." Spencer's eyes widened with shock. "What? Your family is here, your home is here. You can't leave it, Ashley." Ashley rested her forehead on Spencer and said the most honest words she could think of. "My home is wherever you are, Spencer."

_I'm still deciding who I want to be today cause we both know._


	6. The Truth About Heaven

**Title**: The Truth About Heaven

**Artist**: Armor For Sleep

_Walk past my grave in the dark tonight, saw the stone and the note you left for me._

The cemetery had become a safe haven for Spencer. The tombstone was under a tree, sheltering it from the sun and rain. She got onto her knees and gently traced the name with her fingers. Ashley Davies. 1989 – 2007. Beloved daughter, sister, and friend. Those words would never be able to do justice for Spencer. She was so much more than that, even if she wasn't here. Spencer laid on her back, in front of the grave. Her eyes were looking towards the sky and hoping from a sign from above.

_To answer your question I just had to leave, I just had to leave._

Heaven wasn't all that you expected it to be, or so Ashley thought. There was no fanfare of horns or angels flying around as you came upon the pearly white gates. It was exactly like real life, except you were apart from the people you loved most of the time. Watching everybody go on without you everyday had to be the hardest part for Ashley. Sometimes she watched Kyla or Aiden, but it was Spencer who captured most of her attention. Some things never do change, regardless if you're dead or alive.

_But that's not why I'm here, I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long._

Death never seemed like it could happen to someone as invincible as Ashley. She would always tiptoe on that line but never fell over to the other side. Until that night. She was driving home after a late night out with friends. She had drunk water the entire time at the club, knowing she would have to get up early the next morning. The road was wet from the thunderstorms plaguing LA recently. She never had a chance. The car spun out of control and veered right off the road into a tree. The impact killed her instantly but everyone else still felt it.

_I want to find you so bad, to let you know I'm miserable up here without you._

It had been a couple of months since the funeral but Spencer still hadn't been able to sleep. The therapist told her that insomnia was a common reaction to losing someone close to you without any warning. That still didn't help sleep at night though. Her mind would always wander back to memories of Ashley. The first kiss they shared in Ashley's bedroom. The moment she realized she liked girls at the beach and told Ashley. The profession of love from Ashley in the art studio. Every memory lingered in her head, refusing to leave. You know how people say that these types of things get easier with time. Spencer thought they were all liars, because it only got harder for her.

_Found my way back in the dark tonight, couldn't wake up, not right next to you._

The late hour and pitch black night should have scared Spencer, lying in a cemetery and all. But the thought of Ashley being so close to her only calmed any fear she may have had. Ashley was watching this scene from above, like a movie playing for her eyes only. Spencer looked beautiful on the grass, her eyes closed and a peaceful aura surrounded her body. This was her opportunity to reach out to her, let her know that she wasn't as far away as she thought she was. Her other attempts had failed before but Ashley felt different about this one. She felt that it might actually work.

_I traded forever to just hear you say the sound of my name._

Ashley flew down to where Spencer was, which was something she could always do. But people on earth can never see or feel you. So you're left feeling invisible and alone. Ashley had given up on doing this for a while now because she couldn't take the pain of being so close to Spencer and yet not even close enough. She was a few feet away from Spencer and felt something happening inside her. She focused all of her energy on the blonde in front of her. All of her senses slowly started coming back and feeling tingled throughout her body. But one feeling prevailed over them all. She felt alive again.

_But that's not why I'm here, I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long._

A fierce wind blew by the cemetery as Spencer felt someone staring at her. She opened her eyes and slowly started to stand up. She recognized the confident stance and the tangled brunette hair. The brown eyes hadn't changed at all, the fire behind them still burning. "Ashley." The name Spencer had refused to utter came back to her lips. Ashley walked towards her, filling up the space between them. Spencer was momentarily paralyzed from shock. Ashley's voice made it real. "It's me, Spence."

_I want to find you so bad, to let you know I'm miserable up here without you._

Tears started to fall from those blue eyes that Ashley always drowned in. She traced the trail with her finger, feeling something electric go through her as they finally touched. Spencer could not believe Ashley was in front of her eyes. Usually they were closed when she saw her. Spencer got words out of her mouth at last. "I miss you." Ashley gave a half-hearted smile and nodded. "I know." Spencer ran her hand through Ashley's hair. "How much time do we have?" Ashley could only whisper. "Not much."

_Don't believe that its better when you leave everything behind, don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die._

Ashley could feel her heart beating again as Spencer laid on top of her. Making love on her own grave probably had to be the most romantic thing they had ever done. Spencer's body felt so warm and perfect, like it always had. Spencer's head was resting on Ashley's chest and silence filled the air. Ashley knew that their time was running out, so whatever she needed to say had to be done now. "You're never alone, Spencer. You may think you are but I'm always up there, watching over you." Spencer lifted her head so she could meet Ashley's eyes. "I want you here, not there."

_Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die, I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long._

They were sitting next to each other, leaning on the tombstone. Ashley told her about heaven and how she spent her time. Spencer listened intently, secretly hoping that this night would never end. Ashley tried to give her peace of mind. "Death can't keep us apart. Nothing ever could, not even your mother." Spencer laughed out loud. Ashley started to lose feeling in her body and knew it was time.

_I want to find you so bad, to let you know I'm miserable up here without you._

She kissed Spencer one last time and made sure it counted. Ashley brought her lips to Spencer's ear and whispered. "This isn't the end, Spencer. It's only the beginning." Spencer watched as Ashley slowly disappeared into the air. She felt the wind against her skin and knew she wasn't alone. Ashley would always be with her, wherever she was. And that's all she needed.

_Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die._


	7. A Camera Lens And Careful Days

A/N: A little more feedback and/or reviews, pretty please? Thank you.

**Title**: A Camera Lens and Careful Days

**Artist**: Lydia

_It's always blue and black or breaking skin, well cover up girl we'll finally leave again. _

The bitter cold mixed people's breath and cigarette smoke together, as the snow glistened from the porch light. The keg was placed in a dark corner of the sorority house that Spencer had to search for before finding. Camden College was known for outrageous and lavish parties thrown by the rich, snobby, drug addicted kids of CEOs and executives of high profile companies. Tucked away in New England and hidden from the rest of society, Spencer wondered how she ever ended up here. But this wasn't a night to think but rather get drunk and lose any sort of feeling inside yourself.

_And you breathe me in so well, in your room under the cover of this night. _

Spencer drank the cold beer quickly, wanting to lose her inhibitions in the shortest amount of time. The front door opened and Ashley Davies walked into the room letting the icy air inside. She went unnoticed by most of the people there, but not by Spencer. Ashley had been the object of Spencer's affection for a while now. They knew each other in the way that only small college students could. Everybody knew everyone through someone else, no intimacy involved. Spencer was going to change that tonight.

_We are safe; we are, as long as you whisper but my eye was caught by your picture._

Ashley went outside onto the porch with all of the smokers and Spencer followed. She found Ashley standing by herself, cigarette dangling from her perfect lips. She felt her nervous energy and alcohol flow in her veins while freezing in the winter night. She walked over to the brunette and tried to sound confident. "Spare a cigarette?" Ashley looked like she was happy to oblige and even lit it by shielding the flame with her hands. Spencer inhaled deeply and the nicotine streamed through her body, making her somewhat warm for the time being. Ashley gazed into empty space and spoke. "Spencer, right?"

_That's hanging from your mirror, like something you forgot. I'll say that we couldn't sleep just staring at the clock._

Spencer nodded her head and continued to smoke. Ashley turned her gaze to Spencer and a hint of a smile appeared on her face. "So what's your major?" Spencer was caught off guard with the question and stuttered a response. "..E-En-English." Ashley let out a small chuckle before speaking again. "How ironic considering you must have a way with words." Spencer brought her head down and could feel her cheeks starting to blush. Ashley tried to change the subject. "This party is lame." Spencer took this as another chance to make a better impression. "Rich kids getting drunk lose its touch after a while." Ashley laughed before whispering one word. "Amen."

_But when numbers seem to blur and the reflection is lost. Anything is love as you stare into your box. _

They finished their cigarettes and stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Ashley offered a suggestion. "Want to get out of here?" Spencer didn't hesitate to answer. "Yeah." The two of them started to walk towards the dorms as the cold air fought against them, trying to push them back with all its strength. It failed though since they finally reached Ashley's room. The door opened and Ashley took a seat by her desk while Spencer was left to sit on the bed. The room was messy but Ashley didn't make any apologies for it. She rolled the chair over to the corner and put the record player on. Bob Dylan's voice filled the room as Ashley started to roll a joint.

_So now we're used to the rain. We can swim and I'll say we were, never worried._

Marijuana smoke overcastted a cloud near the top of their heads. They were both lying on the bed on opposite sides, looking at the ceiling. Spencer was tracing invisible patterns in the air with her fingers, experiencing her first time high. Ashley had her eyes closed and talked when she felt it was necessary to break the silence. "What are we doing here?" Spencer snorted and responded. "I think we're getting high." Ashley laughed loudly before turning serious. "No, I mean what are we doing on this planet. What are we suppose to do with our lives?" Spencer kept gazing at the ceiling, feeling her senses heightened. "You are deep, Ashley Davies."

_Because the floods will only bring the coast, and Atlantic closer. I thought I told you girl. _

Ashley propped her head onto the pillow, so she could see Spencer. The space between them was nonexistent as the sides of their bodies were touching. Spencer sat up and met Ashley's eyes staring back at her. "What's your major?" Ashley smiled and shook her head. "Undeclared." Spencer laughed as the weed started to wear off. "That's funny." Ashley looked confused for a moment. "Why is that funny?" Spencer kept her eyes trained on the brunette inches away from her. "Because you look like a girl who knows what she wants."

_I thought I showed you the reason that all I truly want is to get in your head. _

Somehow they ended up next to each other, both heads sharing the pillow. Ashley kept her attention on Spencer, not looking away from her for a moment. "You have pretty eyes, Spence." Spencer felt her cheeks blush again and smiled. "Thanks." The quiet tension entered the room as the record player turned itself off. Ashley spoke first. "You were right." Spencer scrunched her eyebrows together. "About what?" Ashley didn't miss a beat. "I do know what I want." Spencer had to ask the question. "What do you want?" Ashley whispered just one word. "You."

_And steal your imagery so we can both go to your second story house. _

Their lips collided in a moment that seemed to last forever. Spencer was exploring Ashley's mouth with her tongue, tasting everything she had to offer. Ashley's hands found their way under Spencer's shirt. Spencer felt so much want for her that she didn't care what they did, just as long as Ashley stayed on top of her. Their bodies fell to a natural rhythm as their clothes started to fall off.

_You would never believe this snow. It's so heavy on our lungs but it's creeping up your walls and closing down the roads. _

Spencer woke up to Ashley's arm wrapped around her waist. The blanket wasn't doing a good job of keep her warm but Ashley's body more than made up for it. She slowly turned over so she was facing Ashley, who was still sleeping. She brushed away a piece of hair from her eyes and watched the sunlight hit her face. Spencer suddenly remembered the question that had bothered her last night. How she had ended up at Camden College in the first place? She realized the answer was right next to her.

_But I swear I'm loving while I swear I still will hide away from the cold._


	8. Rush Together

**Title**: Rush Together

**Artist**: Quietdrive

_They grew up in the same old town, never knowing the other was around. _

The dust had settled nicely on the barely opened books that lined the library. So had Spencer for that matter. She sat in the same chair, at the same time everyday with the only thing being different was the books she read. Predictability and routine were her strong points, which was not saying much. Her summer was planned around staying in the library and reading whatever her heart desired. Plans are meant to change though. And they did the moment she walked into the door.

_Read from the same damn books, never caught each others looks but one day the sun will shine. _

Spencer's eyes followed every step she took, letting them rest from reading. She absorbed the sight of her and tried to figure out why she was here. The brunette seemed to find what she was looking for as she picked up a book from the shelf. Curiosity overtook Spencer's rational judgment and she leaned over the arm of the chair to get a better look at the title. She found herself sprawled out on the floor due to falling. She quickly got up and sat back down, hoping that the girl hadn't seen it. A knowing smirk appeared on her face as she went back to reading her book.

_I know for their eyes have told me so. Chasing advice from those who say, I've lost my mind. _

Spencer tried to go back to reading her book but couldn't, she physically couldn't. It was like some invisible force was hovering over her and making her eyes look at the girl, not the words on the pages. The mystery girl walked around each and every row of books, getting closer to Spencer. She finally leaned on the shelf and faced Spencer, asking a question. "What are you reading?" Spencer held the book up so she could read the title. "It's a play, actually. Our Town by Thornton Wilder." The girl looked at her and spoke again. "Wasn't he a queer?" Spencer smiled and nodded. "All the good ones are."

_Rush together to find each other. No, it's too late, you can never wait for luck. _

Ashley walked home without any books in her hand, which Kyla noticed as soon as she opened the door. "Didn't you go to the library?" Ashley nodded her head. "You didn't check any books out." Kyla stated quite bluntly. Ashley thought for a second before answering. "Well, I don't have any books but that doesn't mean I didn't check anything out." Kyla laughed out loud before throwing back an insult. "You are such a pervert."

_Together playing the same instrument that you still can't hear at all. _

The librarians didn't even look up from the reference desk when Spencer came in. She had read most of the classic authors and was working her way towards the more modern ones. Her head was firmly planted in each book but one eye was always looking towards the door. Spencer knew she had seen that girl before, maybe in passing at school or somewhere else. This city had more than its share of blurry faces and forgotten names, but you remember her. That girl was like an imprint on Spencer's mind, refusing to go away without a fight.

_So that's how the story goes so far. I'll tell you the rest but now I'm tired of what I think._

Spencer came upon a surprise when she walked to her chair the next day. Somebody was already occupying it. The brunette sat quite comfortably, reading the same book that Spencer had told her about. She looked pretty engrossed in it and Spencer wasn't sure if she noticed her, so she cleared her throat. The girl looked up and couldn't help but smile. "This play isn't bad. George and Emily are pretty cute." Spencer let out a laugh before commenting. "Enjoy that while it lasts." Ashley smiled before getting up from the chair. "I don't think I introduced myself properly. Ashley Davies." She held out her hand and Spencer shook it. "Spencer Carlin."

_A situation where I can't sing but I hate the vagrant life, I know. _

The library noticeably got louder as the days started to pass with Ashley and Spencer attempting to read in the back. They had developed a system where each would read a different book, switch, read the other book, and discuss the books when they were done. The conversation didn't always stick to the literature at hand. Spencer told Ashley about her family dynamic at home. "So you have a black brother at home?" Ashley asked without reservations. "Yeah, but we don't see it like that. He's just Clay." Spencer said out loud. Ashley nodded and stared at the books surrounding them. "That has to be nice, total acceptance in your family."

_Nothing has been more sold, till now. Living my life after those who say I've lost my mind. _

Spencer dreaded sundown because that was usually when she parted ways with Ashley until the next day. Hours turned into minutes that turned into seconds that she couldn't bear. She came home late for dinner and received a glare from Paula. "Library again, Spencer?" She nodded and stuffed the food into her mouth so she wouldn't have to say anything. Glen could only shake his head in disgust. "I don't get you, Spence. Who wants to spend the summer with their head in books? I mean, it's not like it's even for school or anything." Spencer rolled her eyes and went back to eating. The books weren't the only reason she kept going back.

_Rush together to find each other. No, it's too late, you can never wait for luck. _

Ashley's eyes had trouble staying on the page, they would rather stray away and find Spencer. The blonde was lying on her stomach, reading her book on the floor. Her legs were dangling in the air and Ashley noticed. The sun drenched her through the window and it's almost as if she was golden, too good to be true. Her hair shined so brightly and her eyes never lost that touch. Ashley sighed out loud at her frustration of not being able to touch Spencer. She only had so much self control and it was slowly running out.

_Together playing the same instrument, that you still can't hear at all. _

The opportunity seemed to present itself a week later. Spencer had gone to a notoriously empty and secluded corner of the library to put a book away. Ashley followed without a second thought. Spencer was just standing there, waiting for something. This wasn't a time for words but action. Ashley walked over and pushed Spencer against the books. She felt her spine against the spines of the books, a sharp pain going through her. Ashley pressed her lips and body to Spencer, who obliged. Books fell over through the other side due to the sheer force of both girls.

_So what do you say? So what do you say? Can we turn this clock back thirteen years and relate?_

Moans were escaping from Spencer's mouth as Ashley had worked her way down south. Staying quiet suddenly became impossible. Spencer was holding on to the shelf with a death grip. As soon as Ashley was done, Spencer used her hands to push her against the rows of traditional text. The books made a loud sound as they hit the floor. Spencer pinned Ashley and kissed her with passion she thought was only reserved in works of fiction. Footsteps started to shuffle over as Spencer quickly broke contact with Ashley. The librarian gave them a stern look and asked them to pick the books up. Both girls nodded and started to put them back on the shelves. Ashley made a comment under her breath that Spencer heard. "We just defiled a library."

_I won't mind, can we stay? But isn't it fate? But isn't it fate? _

Kyla was watching TV when Ashley walked through the door. She looked up to see her face and knew that look. "Oh my god, you got some." Ashley couldn't stop smiling as she sat down next to her. "Give me the details." Kyla prodded. "Who's the pervert now?" Ashley shot back. "Library girl? You did it with library girl?" Kyla shrieked out loud. "Her name is Spencer." Ashley said, correcting her. "Wait, where at?" Kyla asked with a quizzical look on her face. Ashley didn't say anything, letting her sister figure it out on her own. Kyla only had one word to say. "Wow."

_That we spilled our guts on this very day. I don't mind, I want to, I want to stay. _

Ashley found Spencer in the same place she had on that first day. Her head buried in a book, not even detecting Ashley's presence. She was feeling a rush of memory overtake her and decided to ask the question that started this all. "What are you reading?" Spencer looked up and smiled. "Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte." Ashley's eyes widened to recognition at the title and asked a question. "Do you have a thing for passionate love affairs?"

_Rush together to find each other. No, it's too late, you can never wait for luck. _

Spencer pondered her answer for a moment. "I've always wanted to have one." Ashley inched closer to her and shut the book with her hands. She brought her lips to Spencer's ear and whispered. "You don't have to read about it if it's right in front of you."

_Together playing the same instrument. Are you listening at all? Are you listening at all?_


	9. Fade Into You

**Title**: Fade Into You

**Artist**: Mazzy Star

_I want to hold the hand inside you. I want to take a breath that's true._

The music was blaring from the stereo on the shelf, as Spencer mindlessly flipped through the pages of the latest indie music scene magazine. Ashley was lost in her closet trying to find something to wear under her graduation gown. This was the day that they had been waiting for four years and by this rate, they would be late for the ceremony. Spencer glanced over at the clock and noted the time. "I'm leaving in five minutes, with or without you." Spencer said trying to threaten the brunette. "You wouldn't dare." Ashley shot back as she walked out wearing the same dress she had started with. Spencer could only swallow the lump in her throat and any courage she may have had. "Ready to go?"

_I look to you and I see nothing. I look to you to see the truth._

Caps flew into the air as the band started to play and teenagers started to file out of the gym. Ashley found Spencer despite the mass of people surrounding them and enveloped her into a hug. "Can you believe we made it?" She whispered into the blonde's ear. Paula shouted at them to pose for a picture and they gracefully obliged. Kyla quickly joined them by putting her arms around both girls and smiling. Flash. Ashley turned to Spencer and met her eyes. "You're coming to the party tonight, right? Christine is out of town this weekend by coincidence." Spencer smiled at her best friend's sarcasm and nodded her head. "Of course."

_You live your life. You go in shadows. You'll come apart and you'll go blind._

Ashley was busy talking on the phone so she could iron out the details of what was suppose to be the most memorable bash to start off the summer. Spencer wandered over to Kyla's bedroom and was surprised to find that she was ready for the night. She collapsed on the bed and put a pillow over her head while Kyla shook her head. "You know that you have to tell her." Spencer's words were muffled by the pillow but still clear. "Tell her what?" Kyla grabbed the pillow and threw it on the floor. "Don't play stupid, Spencer." Spencer sighed her frustration out loud. "What do I say? Ashley, I know we've been best friends for four years but I've been in love with you since I met you." Kyla laughed out loud and said one last thing. "That'd be a good start."

_Some kind of light into your darkness colors your eyes with what's not there._

It seemed like everybody from their entire high school had shown up to the Davies house. This would probably the last time they would see each other before going their separate ways to college and beyond. Trying to hold on desperately to the past while being pulled to the future was the theme of the night. Ashley was in the kitchen looking for another drink when Spencer tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey stranger. I haven't seen you all night." Spencer showed a coy smile before speaking. "Can I talk to you alone?" Ashley didn't seem fazed by the request. "Sure. Meet me in my room in five minutes?" Spencer felt her heart race suddenly. "I'll be there."

_Fade into you, strange you never knew. Fade into you, I think it's strange you never knew._

Spencer sat on the edge of the bed that she was so familiar with, through countless nights and sleepovers. But she couldn't help but to want more from the bed and Ashley. The door opened and closed in a swift movement and there she was, standing there. Spencer smiled upon seeing her and Ashley walked over to sit next to her. They both noticed the silence of the room compared to the noise of the party downstairs. Ashley sighed out loud and tried to break the awkwardness. "So what's up?" Spencer took a deep breath to prepare. "There's something I have to tell you, Ash." Ashley stared at Spencer through the dim darkness of the room, not saying a word.

_A stranger's light comes on slowly. A stranger's heart without a home._

She could feel her pulse in her ears and the beating of her heart was louder than the music. This was what Spencer had waited for four years, this moment and not graduation. "I would have never survived high school or moving here without you. Bumping into you and making you spill coffee on yourself was the best mistake I ever made." Ashley laughed at the memory of their first meeting. Spencer continued to speak though. "But here is the truth of the whole matter. I am in love with you. And I have been for the past four years. That's it." Ashley sat silently, refusing to speak. The silence seemed to become louder with each passing second.

_You put your hands into your head and then smiles cover your heart._

Finally, Spencer could not take it anymore and rose up from the bed. She started to walk away before Ashley said two words. "Don't leave." She turned back around to face Ashley and saw that she was standing. "Why did you wait so long?" Ashley asked with vulnerability laced over her voice. Spencer wasn't expecting that question but was prepared with an answer. "Because you were worth the wait."

_Fade into you, strange you never knew. Fade into you, I think it's strange you never knew._

Good things really do come to those who wait. Ashley didn't waste any more time though. She closed the space between them and kissed her. Spencer couldn't help but to think how right it felt to be standing in this bedroom kissing Ashley. This wasn't a kiss of passion or lust or any of those superficial things that people think determine love. This kiss was 'it'. This was love, right here and right now.

_Fade into you, strange you never knew. Fade into you._

And all it took was four years.

_I think it's strange you never knew. I think it's strange you never knew._


	10. Such As It Ends

**Title**: Such As It Ends

**Artist**: Ludo

_I've been losing sleep for days. You've been searching through the deserts and the cares._

The church bells were ringing fiercely through the small town that Ashley found herself in. She looked at the address scribbled on the scrap of paper that Arthur had given her. People stared at her as they walked past, making her feel like every bit of the outsider that she was used to being. The motel's parking lot was bare as Ashley pulled up in her Porsche always knowing how to make a scene. She walked in with her sunglasses covering her eyes and rang the bell repeatedly. An ancient man walked slowly from the backroom looking shocked that he had customers. He gave her a key from the rack and asked. "Staying for long?" Ashley grabbed the key from his hand and replied. "As long as it takes."

_Your postcards hit me in waves, sadly stinging me with songs from yesterday._

Ashley threw down her purse on the chair and collapsed on the bed. She had driven for two days straight without any sleep to this town in Ohio from LA. The Carlin family didn't look surprised when Ashley showed up looking for Spencer. Paula made it clear that Spencer was long gone and far away because of Ashley so there was no point in chasing after her. Before she left the house, Arthur quietly wished her good luck and shook her hand. When he pulled back, there was a piece of paper left in Ashley's hand. And what was written on it was where she ended up.

_Love, such as it ends, breaking the hearts that wouldn't bend. Closes the doors you used to listen through._

Loud knocking came from outside as Ashley woke up from the deep slumber she had fallen in. She opened the door and was thoroughly stunned to see Spencer standing there. The blonde brushed past her while she walked in and sat down on the bed. Her arms were folded against her chest like some kind of line of defense for her heart. Ashley shut the door behind her and stayed standing, not quite knowing where to go. Spencer closed her eyes and asked out loud. "What are you doing here, Ashley?" Instead of answering, she just asked another question. "How did you know I was here?" Spencer sighed and responded. "This is a small town. People talk. But don't try and change the subject." Ashley ran a hand through her hair and answered. "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm here for you."

_Love, such as it ends. Into the flames, we'll start again, and in the end, I'll be with you._

Spencer looked down and shook her head. "You weren't here for me three months ago when I needed you." Ashley thought to herself that she was right. "I know that. I am so unbelievably sorry for that. But I'm here now to try and make it right." Spencer's eyes started to glaze over with tears. "Clay died and you just left. I lost the two most important people in my life at the same time. Do you have any idea what that's like?" Ashley put her hand on Spencer's shoulder when she noticed a tear fall. Spencer flinched at the touch and brushed it off. "Don't do that. Just leave and let me be." She walked out of the room without another word and Ashley was the one left to deal with it alone.

_You've been burning up for days, trying to gather all the figures in the clay._

The hot water burned against her skin and the mirror was fogged up when she got out of the shower. She used her hand to wipe it away as she saw her reflection. Ashley knew that this wouldn't be easy, but she didn't want it to be. She wanted to fight for Spencer and possibly get hurt in the process because in the end, it only made them stronger. The downtown area paled in comparison to what it was like in LA but Ashley figured that it would do. She found the church and opened the gigantic mahogany doors. The pews were empty except for a few people scattered throughout, praying on their knees. She scanned the room and saw the back of Spencer's head, her long blonde hair glowing from the light hitting it through the stain glass windows. She walked over to where she was and sat down next to her.

_You know they can't all be saved. Leave the weak ones; find a modicum of shades._

Spencer glanced over at Ashley and quickly went back to staring at the cross placed in the middle of the altar. Ashley spoke in a low whisper. "I just wanted to let you know that I don't plan on leaving without you." Spencer closed her eyes and inhaled. "I didn't just lose Clay and you. When you left, I lost my faith too. I'm trying to find it again." Ashley nodded her head and whispered. "I hope you do." She got up from her seat and sauntered down the aisle slowly. The door closed as Ashley leaned her back against it, letting the sun strike her face. She exhaled through her nose and took out the pack of her cigarettes in her pocket. She lit it and took one long look at the intimidating church. She started to walk away, knowing she'd be back there again.

_Love, such as it ends, breaking the hearts that wouldn't bend. Closes the doors you used to listen through._

There wasn't much to do in this town, Ashley promptly realized. But she found ways to keep herself amused and entertained. She kept running into Spencer wherever she was, making sure that she knew that she wasn't going anywhere. The days were spent chasing Spencer around while the nights were lonely. Ashley watched too much cable TV and was missing home. Kyla tried to ease her mind on the phone. "You went there on a mission. Don't come back until you finish it." Ashley sighed into the receiver. "But what if it doesn't work, Kyla? What if she's really done?" Kyla made her words very clear. "That isn't an option."

_Love, such as it ends. Into the flames, we'll start again, and in the end, I'll be with you. _

Rain started to pour down from the sky as Ashley was walking down the sidewalk in the middle of the night. She searched for shelter and saw that she was right by the church. She ran to the heavy doors and opened them with a force she didn't know she had. Her clothes were soaked, dripping on the floor wherever she walked. There didn't seem to be anyone else in here or so she thought until she heard a cough coming from the confessional. A thought appeared in her head and she decided that now was a good time as any to talk to the Lord. She sat down in the tight space and said to the closed window. "Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned."

_I've been vacant for so long, but you were there. You look so tired._

A grunt came from the other side, but Ashley couldn't see who it was. She assumed it was a priest who was tired considering it was so late. She went on talking anyways. "I messed up really bad, Father. I left my girlfriend when she needed me the most. I know you guys look down on that sort of thing but I always thought if there was a God, he'd be more accepting." Ashley took a deep breath before continuing. "Anyway, I just feel like I have no faith anymore. She's my faith, you know? I love her more than anything and if she can't see that…I don't know." Ashley felt her throat close up from the tears she was holding in. "I guess I thought that maybe God could help me out."

_Now just please, love, let me take it on my shoulders and we might make it home._

The door opened and closed in a flash and Spencer was standing in the entryway. Ashley's eyes couldn't quite believe what they were seeing. "Spencer?" She shut and locked the door behind her. Ashley tried to stand up in the already cramped confessional but Spencer pushed her down. She kissed her for the first time in what felt like forever. Ashley returned the favor and ran her hands through Spencer's hair. Spencer was pressed onto Ashley's body and felt the heat from her even though she was wet from the rain. There wasn't much space to move around but that didn't seem to matter.

_Love, such as it ends...breaking the hearts that wouldn't bend...love, such as it ends, breaking the hearts that wouldn't bend. Closes the doors you used to listen through._

Every moan and breath seemed to echo off the high church ceilings and remind them of what they were doing. This had to be a sin. Ashley woke up the next morning by herself in the motel room she had been living in for weeks. She looked at the clock and noticed it was early for her. A gentle knock on the door was all it took for Ashley to get up from the bed. Spencer stood there again in the open frame with her suitcases behind her. Ashley raised her eyebrow. "Ready to go home?" Spencer let go off the handles and put her arms around Ashley's neck. She whispered one last thing into her ear.

_Love, such as it ends. Into the flames, we'll start again, and in the end, I'll be with you._

"I found my faith."

_Love, such as it ends... Love, such as it ends...and in the end, I'll be with you._


	11. AN

A/N: You have absolutely no idea how much I hate writing these and how much I hate myself for continuing to do it. But things and feelings and emotions and life happens, and then I have to for the sake of my sanity. I feel bad that I haven't updated this in a while because quite frankly, it's the collection/stories/whatever you want to call it, that I'm most proud of and happy and excited to write. The thing is though, is that college happened to me and I had a hard time adjusting to it all. I don't want to bore you or whatever with my personal life but I thought I should give some kind of reason as to why this hiatus was so long. I feel like The N now.

I still want to write this and I have more than enough ideas. But, it's just I'm needy, okay? And I need to know that people care about if I continue to do this or not. So if you want to read more and want me to keep writing this, then let me know. Give me something so I know that this is worth it. That's all I ask for.

Much love,

sayanythinglover


	12. Star Mile

**Title**: Star Mile

**Artist**: Joshua Radin

_Old doubt and a girl by your side, she's feeding your pride as you go for a ride down the star mile._

The Hollywood sign standing haphazardly across the hills had lost its luster for Ashley a long time ago. The view from the loft was nice, and for what she was paying for it, it better be. But California didn't hold the same promise it once had. The neon lights reflected off of the same old tired faces and made Ashley feel empty inside. She thought about all this while sitting on the deck with a cigarette in her hand. It was early in the morning or late at night, depending on how you looked at it. Kyla would be staggering back home soon, and that was the last thing she wanted to deal with.

_World's rise as she lets you come in, a duo begins to the Hollywood din of the lonely._

The terminal at LAX was busy with people rushing to places they needed to be, to people they needed to see. Ashley envied them all but she had something they did not have. She had freedom. She left a note on the kitchen table for Kyla so she wouldn't be concerned. But Kyla was always too wrapped up into herself to worry about her sister. The woman at the counter asked her where she wanted to go. Ashley realized that she had been so set on getting away that she hadn't even thought of where to go. So she just said the first thing that came to her mind. "Anywhere but here."

_And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into a ring. You had and lost the one thing you kept in a safe place._

China was where she had ended up, and Ashley was thankful for that. It was an ocean away from LA and California and most of all, Spencer. The most recent breakup seemed like it'd be the last one. It started out like any argument they had a million times before but the way it ended was different. Ashley asked Spencer if she was still in love with her and she couldn't answer. Ashley left her place and walked around the city until the morning. She came back to a voicemail left on her cell phone. It was Spencer. "Ash, I know I love you but I'm not sure I'm in love with you. I'm sorry. Some day you'll thank me for doing what neither of us ever could do. Goodbye." There wasn't anything left on the west coast for Ashley anymore after that.

_Remember the face, the girl who had made you her own and how you left her alone. All's well at the base of the hill, you might need to fill a prescription to kill off the sirens._

The hotel was advertised as one of the most exclusive in the world. But Ashley didn't care about the reputation because she only reserved a room there for the view. She looked out the window and saw so many people moving and lights flashing and cars driving. She took a deep breath and let herself inhale it. A billion people could make her feel alive in the day time. But it could also make her feel so alone at night. Kyla called her and Ashley thought twice about picking it up but decided to anyways. "A change of fucking scenery? That's what you leave me with on the back of a Chinese restaurant menu?" Ashley hung up the phone and exhaled. She was free.

_Look down from your tower on high and take in the night. Look her right in the eye, she'll listen._

She went down to the hotel bar and took an empty seat. The lounge singer was not anyone to go crazy about but she had a pretty voice. And the song was a classic. The bartender finally walked over to her and asked what she wanted. "A shot of whiskey. And keep them coming until I say stop." He nodded and smiled. Ashley noticed that he had such pretty blue eyes and was so young. His blond hair reminded her of someone, someone very familiar. When he came back with her drink, she asked him a question. "What's your name?" He cleared his throat. "Spencer." She laughed into her glass and realized the irony of it all. She was thousands of miles away from Spencer and she still couldn't get away from her if she tried.

_And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into a ring. You had and lost the one thing you kept in a safe place._

The bartender kept her company throughout the night. "So where are you from?" Ashley was slumped over at this point but still managed to respond. "LA, by way of California, of those United States of America." She was gone, in more ways than one. He wouldn't let up with the questions though. "Why'd you come here?" Ashley thought about it for a while. He was just about to walk away to attend to another customer when she answered. "I'm trying to get over a girl." He laughed out loud and asked another question. "Aren't we all?" She looked down into her empty glass and saw a reflection of herself. This is not who she wanted to be. All she had ever wanted was to be was Spencer's.

_Remember the face, the girl who had made you her own and how you left her alone. Life comes to those that'll choose the regular news over playing the blues with the light on._

She stumbled into her hotel room sometime in the early morning. Before shutting the door, she read the gleaming numbers above the peephole. 1003. She sighed to herself and realized the significance of that specific assortment of numbers together. It was her anniversary with Spencer. October 3rd would forever associate itself with Spencer and there was no other way around it. The remote was on the nightstand which Ashley found by awkwardly fumbling for it. She turned on the TV only to find a movie playing. _An Affair to Remember_ with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. It was Spencer's favorite movie that she had made Ashley watch over and over one rainy weekend together. The world didn't want her to give up on Spencer quite yet.

_And if you burn the road that'll lead you back to her in time, I'll watch you turn to stone._

Flying thousands of feet above the ground did nothing but make Ashley's hangover worse. She had hours to think about what she would say. But she knew it was useless to write a speech in her head because once Spencer came into view, she'd be speechless soon enough. The plane landed without incident and Ashley rushed to hail a cab. She threw her baggage in the trunk and slid into the backseat with one swift motion. The address she have given to the cab driver was not her own.

_Can't find the sublime, she's moving on without you, the tide breaks._

The destination came quicker than Ashley had realized it would and she sat in the car for a moment. The cab driver looked at her through his rear view mirror and asked her if she was getting out. She nodded her head and slowly made her way to the house. The path leading up to the front door never felt so long. She rang the doorbell. Spencer was standing in the doorway, looking more than confused. "Ashley, what are you doing here?" Ashley laughed and finally got the courage to say what she needed to say. "I just got back from China. I went there to get away from you." Spencer looked down at her feet because it was too hard to look at Ashley.

_You watch the stars fake, they gather you back to their homes._

But Ashley kept on talking anyways. "Spencer, everything there reminded me of you. I think that it's amazing that even in a foreign country, you're with me. I think that you are in love with me but you're scared. And I think that we are not meant to be apart, we're meant to be together." Spencer raised her head and Ashley saw the blue eyes that reminded her of the ocean that couldn't separate them. A question still lingered in the air for Ashley. "What do you think?" Spencer found Ashley's hand and laced her fingers through them. "I think you're right." She pulled them into the house where they'd never be apart again.

_I guess it's better than being alone._


	13. Heartbeats

**Title**: Heartbeats

**Artist**: Jose Gonzalez

_One night to be confused, one night to speed up truth. _

The trailer park was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night. Most of its inhabitants were probably at the high school football game to relive glory days and get drunk afterward. Ashley was left alone in the bedroom she shared with Kyla. She was pretty blazed and counting the holes in the ceiling while sprawled out on her bed like an eagle. She could not fly, but at least she was high. Her cell phone rang and she barely moved as she fumbled awkwardly for it with her hand. The name flashing on the screen took more than a moment to register for Ashley. She sighed to herself and answered it. "Ashley Davies, at your service." The voice on the other line didn't seem to be amused. "Can I come over?" Ashley did not hesitate. "You can do whatever you want, Spencer."

_We had a promise made, four hands and then away._

A tap at the window and there she was. Ashley opened it with fairly little incident and Spencer crawled in only to fall onto the bed. She shifted her body towards Ashley and looked into her glazed eyes. "You're high." Ashley let a grin consume her face. "And you are observant." Spencer rolled her eyes and stood up to take her jacket off. The green cheerleading outfit was still on her body, attracting attention to the right places. Ashley put her arms behind her head and let herself enjoy the sight. "I don't know whether to be turned on or repulsed by what you're wearing." Spencer flashed her middle finger and jumped back onto the bed. Ashley tugged at the elastic band of her skirt and Spencer was pulled on top, hovering over the brunette. She kissed her forehead then her nose and finally her mouth, tracing an invisible trail. She whispered into Ashley's ear. "You shouldn't be worried about what I'm wearing."

_Both under influence, we had divine scent to know what to say. Mind is a razor blade._

Ashley fell asleep and Spencer quietly shifted from the bed to the floor. She picked up her jacket and put it on before opening the window. A voice interrupted the silence of the room. "Don't say goodbye or anything." Spencer turned around to find Ashley awake. "Does Aiden know that you leave his bed only to come into mine?" Spencer suddenly became angry at the mention of his name. "Fuck you, Ashley." Ashley quickly corrected her. "You already did." Spencer started to crawl out of the window and mumbled to herself but loud enough for Ashley to hear. "I like you better when you're high." Ashley threw the pillow at the window and collapsed back onto the bed. Push and pull was their relationship. Ashley would push Spencer away only to have her be pulled back into her again, either literally or figuratively.

_To call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough for me, no._

Monday morning always arrived too soon for Ashley. She parked the '57 deceased Chevy truck in her spot and took the keys out of the ignition, turning the radio off. Kyla was sitting shotgun and applying her makeup in the mirror. Ashley rested her head on the steering wheel, letting out a moan. Kyla diverted her focus to Ashley. "Do you want to get high before first period?" Ashley lifted her head and smiled. "You read my mind." They both got out of the truck and walked to the direction of the girls' bathroom. Ashley saw Spencer holding hands with Aiden, which made her stomach uneasy and her heart about to explode. The bathroom door was shoved open and the two girls were safely inside. Spencer saw the back of Ashley's head go into the open doorway and quickly released her hand from Aiden's grip. "Bathroom." That was all she said before she walked away.

_One night of magic rush, the start - a simple touch. _

Spencer walked into a fog of smoke courtesy of Ashley and Kyla. She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest in a disapproving manner. "You guys are going to set off the fire alarm." Kyla whipped her head around and glared at Spencer. "You're going to set me off if you don't shut up." Ashley punched Kyla in the arm and nodded her head towards the door. Kyla got the message and left. Spencer walked over to Ashley and laced her fingers through the brunette's hair before resting her head on her shoulder. She whispered into Ashley's ear again. "I'm sorry." Ashley sighed and her body felt relieved against Spencer's touch. "Let's get out of here."

_One night to push and scream and then relief._

The radio played a tired old love song but Ashley let it come quietly through the speakers. Spencer had her hand outside of the window, making invisible waves with her hand. She asked Ashley a question. "Where are we going?" Ashley didn't take her eyes off the road. "It's a surprise." Spencer turned the volume up to fill the truck with a melody. Ashley felt some sort of swelling pride with Spencer in her truck, like she was hers and it'd always be that way. They pulled up to the beach and Spencer could not contain her smile. She ran out of the truck to the shore and Ashley could only chase after her.

_Ten days of perfect tunes, the colors - red and blue._

The water was cold due to the autumn weather but neither of them was complaining as they walked through it in their bare feet. Spencer searched for Ashley's hand and found it with little effort. Ashley kept her eyes trained to the ground, deep in thought about something. "What are you thinking about?" Spencer's voice snapped Ashley out of her cluttered mind and into reality. "Nothing." Spencer never gave in that easily. "You're a bad liar." Ashley laughed but it sounded sad in the air. "I know but I don't want to lie to you." Spencer stopped Ashley in her tracks and looked her in the eye. "Tell me." Ashley could not deny her that privilege. "I was thinking that falling in love with you was not part of my plan." Spencer kissed her with what felt like she didn't have a care in this world. "I think you need a new plan."

_We had a promise made, we were in love._

Ashley drove away from the beach and felt a twinge of sadness go through her body. She didn't want to leave it just yet, she didn't want to leave Spencer just yet. "What are you going to tell your parents?" Spencer turned to look at her. "About what?" Ashley raised her eyebrows. "You ditched school today. I'm sure they're going to notice." Spencer shrugged her shoulders with that easy nature of hers. "Whatever." The truck turned onto Spencer's street and Ashley saw Aiden's car parked in her driveway. Spencer silently whispered to herself. "Fuck." Ashley drove to the curb and put the truck in park. Aiden walked out of the front door with Paula and Arthur close behind.

_To call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough for me, no._

This was never going to end well. Aiden started yelling at Spencer before she could get a word out. "What the hell are doing with her? I can't believe you, Spencer." Spencer fought back though. "Fuck you, Aiden. I'm not your property." Paula chimed in. "Spencer, watch your language! What are you doing ditching school? You are grounded!" Ashley couldn't bear to watch Spencer be ambushed here. "Mrs. Carlin, I can explain. I took her away from school because I needed her. You see, I'm going through a hard time-…" Aiden let out a laugh. "You live in a trailer park. Your whole life is a hard time." Ashley felt anger and embarrassment come through her face seeing as how she was turning red. She felt her fist wind up and before she knew what happened, Aiden ended up on the ground holding his eye.

_To call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough._

A mass confusion erupted as Spencer, Paula, and Arthur crowded around Aiden. Ashley was left standing by herself, wondering how she managed to give the star football player a black eye. Spencer stopped attending to Aiden and looked at Ashley. "You should go." Ashley nodded her head and got back into her truck. Her tires squealed as she slammed down the gas pedal with her foot. Ashley Davies never failed to leave an impression. She opened the door of her bedroom to find Kyla smoking a bowl. She offered her hand out and Kyla passed it to her. Ashley took the longest inhale of her life before handing it back to Kyla while she was coughing. Kyla widened her eyes in shock. "You never cough. What the hell happened to you?"

_And you, you knew the hand of the devil. And you kept us awake with wolfs' teeth._

Kyla could not stop laughing between breaths and hits. "You gave Aiden Dennison a black eye? You deserve like a parade, or something." Ashley shook her head. "No, Kyla. I did it in front of her mom. She hates me now." Kyla looked seriously at Ashley. "No offense, but she was already going to hate you." Ashley took the pillow and hit her sister with it. "You are no help." Kyla took the pillow away and threw it back on the bed. "Just let it hit you." Ashley collapsed with her back on the bed. She started feeling every one of her senses tingling throughout her body. Eventually, she fell asleep to the sound of her own heartbeat.

_Sharing different heartbeats in one night._

Ashley woke up to an open window and found a dark figure standing in her room. "What took you so long?" Spencer took a step forward and the moonlight hit her face. "You shouldn't have done that, Ashley." Ashley sighed and closed her eyes. "He deserved it." Spencer crawled into the bed to occupy the empty space next to her. "But I'm glad you did." Ashley opened her eyes and asked a question. "So are you and Aiden done?" Spencer let her eyes show a smile. "There never was a me and Aiden." Ashley pulled Spencer on top of her again. She had one more question. "And what are we?"

_To call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough for me, no._

They were so close to each other, they could feel their heartbeats. Both fell into the same rhythm, never to fall out of sync with the other. Spencer whispered into Ashley's ear for the last time. "We are just beginning."

_To call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough._


	14. AN 2

A/N: This is actually a good author's note. I am finally opening up the door to take requests for songs. So if you want me to write a oneshot with a particular song in mind, then tell me. I cannot make any promises though. If the song works, I'll do it and if it does not, I apologize profusely.

So feel free to request a song and I will get on it ASAP!

Much love,

sayanythinglover


	15. Sometime Around Midnight

**Title**: Sometime Around Midnight

**Artist**: The Airborne Toxic Event

_And it starts sometime around midnight or at least that's when you lose yourself for a minute or two._

The ice in her drink was beginning to melt as she swirled her straw around so she'd have something to do. Ashley sighed out loud and wondered how she had gotten pulled into this mess. Kyla was dancing with some pretty young thing and experiencing every aspect of the phase she had recently entered of 'liking' girls. The techno music was pulsating in her ears and she thought that at any moment blood would start to come out of them. A girl came up to her and offered to buy her a drink. She politely declined because her blonde hair looked too familiar and she did not want to remember tonight.

_As you stand under the bar lights and the band plays some song about forgetting yourself for a while._

She escaped to the bathroom and turned the faucet on, spewing out cold water. She splashed it onto her face and looked into the mirror. Her eyes started to roll at how pathetic she was being right now. This was not the night she envisioned having but it could be salvaged. The door opened with a violent burst and two girls with their mouths on each other quickly found a stall that locked. Neither of them saw Ashley but she had seen them. Her stomach started to feel uneasy and she was sure she was going to lose it.

_And the piano's this melancholy sound check to her smile. And that white dress she's wearing, you haven't seen her for a while._

Kyla was in the middle of dance floor and Ashley grabbed her arm. "What the hell?" Kyla turned around to see Ashley standing there. "We have to go. Like now." Kyla wore a look of confusion on her face. "I'm a little busy, Ash." The pretty young thing was started getting bored of their conversation and wandered off. "She's here." Ashley finally said, like there was no other way to say it. Kyla's eyes widened in recognition and she smirked. "We're not leaving." Ashley's mouth opened in shock. "What?" Kyla just continued dancing and talked over her shoulder. "This is for your own good." Ashley shook her head and headed to the bar.

_But you know that she's watching. She's laughing, she's turning, she's holding her tonic like a crux._

Her hands were over her eyes as she tried to wake up from this nightmare. The alcohol wasn't traveling through her system as fast as she would have liked it to. An unmistakable voice seemed to wake her up from her trance. "Two rum and cokes, please." Ashley took her hands away from her eyes and looked next to her. Spencer was leaning against the counter and noticed her presence. "Oh my God." Ashley valiantly faked a smile. "It's good to see you too, Spencer. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, right?" Spencer just nodded her head in amazement. "Sorry, but…I just wasn't expecting to see you here." Ashley titled her head and muttered. "That makes two of us."

_The room suddenly spinning, she walks up and asks how you are. So you can smell her perfume, you can see her lying naked in your arms._

The seat next to her became occupied by Spencer. "How are you?" Ashley sighed and wished Spencer didn't have the manners that she did. "I'm keeping busy." Spencer awkwardly looked around the club while holding two drinks in her hands. "Kyla looks like she's having a good time." Ashley shifted her eyes to a booth where Kyla was on top of pretty young thing. "It's what you can count on her for." Spencer took a sip from her drink. "I guess not much has changed since high school." Ashley ran her hand through her hair and stared at Spencer. "Well, some things have."

_And so there's a change in your emotions and all of these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind._

The other girl from the bathroom found Spencer and was whispering in her ear. Ashley tried to hide how uncomfortable she was. Spencer finally released herself from the girl's grasp and handed over the drink. "I'll meet you over there." Ashley felt a sense of relief as the girl walked away to a secluded corner. "Is that how you treat all your dates, Spence?" Spencer tried to decipher the question. "She isn't a date." Ashley just nodded her head slowly. "Just someone you make out with in a bathroom then?" Spencer's face scrunched in disbelief. "I didn't know anyone was in there." Ashley thought the tension forming would make the club explode if she didn't get out of there soon.

_Of the curl of your bodies like two perfect circles entwined and you feel hopeless, and homeless and lost in the haze of the wine._

The silence was beginning to be too much between them before Spencer broke it. "Running into you just seems surreal, you know?" Ashley finished her drink. "You should probably be getting back to her." Spencer sighed out loud. "See you around, Ash." Ashley felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders when she was alone again. Kyla drifted over next to Ashley and put an arm around her shoulder. "Ready to go?" Ashley looked over to the exit and saw Spencer leaving with the girl. Their eyes met across the room and neither acknowledged what was happening. "Give me a minute." Ashley asked like that was really all she needed.

_And she leaves with someone you don't know but she makes sure you saw her. She looks right at you and bolts as she walks out the door._

A minute became an hour and before Ashley knew it, she could barely stand up straight. Then again, she never did anything straight anymore. Kyla held her up and they walked out of the club. Her stomach started to feel like it had in the bathroom and she found her way to a back alley. Ashley put her hand against the brick wall and vomited. Kyla held her hair back and tried to comfort her. "Just let it out."

_Your blood boiling, your stomach in ropes and when your friends say what is it…you look like you've seen a ghost. _

Ashley refused to take a taxi so Kyla just let her walk home because she knew trying to convince her otherwise was useless. The streets of LA seemed to blend together as Ashley walked around by herself in bare feet. She came across a homeless man sitting against a wall and gave him some change. He instantly perked up. "You're too pretty to look as sad as you do." Ashley laughed a little and agreed. "Maybe so." He asked her a question. "Are you lost?" Ashley nodded her head. "Probably." He put the change back in her hand. "Just go back to the start."

_And you walk under the streetlights and you're too drunk to notice that everyone is staring at you._

She continued on her journey. Eventually, her surroundings became more familiar and made her feel like she had been there before. She realized she was close to King High School. The start. It was the early hours of the morning and she would probably be trespassing, but she didn't care. The asphalt of the parking lot felt cool under her feet. She walked across the quad and made her way to the gym. The door was locked but she took a bobby pin out of her hair and worked her magic. She opened the door and sat on the bleachers, trying to figure out how they got from there to here.

_And you so care what you look like. The world is falling around you. You just have to see her._

The moon was shining through the windows onto the glossy hardwood floor. Ashley forced herself to remember their first official meeting since the one at the lockers didn't count. She took Spencer's hand and that started everything. Her memories were interrupted by someone opening the door. Ashley held her breath before she noticed the dark figure. "Spencer?" Spencer was startled by her voice and put a hand to her chest, over her heart. "Ashley? Is that you?" Ashley patted the seat next to her. "Yeah, it's me."

_You just have to see her. You just have to see her. You just have to see her._

Spencer sat down and her hands gripped the edge of the seat. "Fancy seeing you here." Ashley laughed and looked at the floor. "I guess we're destined to run into each other tonight." Spencer grunted in agreement and asked. "What are you doing here?" Ashley took her eyes away from the floor and looked at Spencer. She let their fingers touch before lacing them together.

"Going back to the start."

_You just have to see her and you know that she'll break you in two._


End file.
